Harrytionary
by mapplepie
Summary: If you have fame, use it. And if you want to write a Harry-tionary, why not? It's not like Hermione's lecturing can stop you. How else will people learn words like 'Dumble-licious?


_A/n: I think slowly the characters are getting ooc in my fics, haha._

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><p>"Hermione," Harry said as soon as he slide up next to her on the Gryffindor bench, "Have I told you how much I love being famous?"<p>

"What have you done now?" she deadpanned immediately.

The celebrity gave her an affronted look, "Why Hermione, how could you think that?" he cried innocently.

She stared at the boy until he twitched nervously. "Okay… I might've… might've written a Harry-tionary and used my fame to get it published and sold?" He ended with a squeak.

"A what?"

"A Harry-tionary." He repeated, "The next best thing to sliced bread."

The girl could only blink in response. "That still doesn't answer my question, Harry." She said, toes tapping in a lack of patience.

The raven-haired celebrity scratched his head, "Err… it's a dictionary?"

The bushy-haired girl narrowed her eyes. "Keep talking."

"…it's written by me?"

"And…?"

"Err… I might have made words up for it?" he tried.

"Harry!" his friend exploded, "Books are for learning! How could you go and completely mess that up? Now how am I supposed trust what I read anymore?"

Harry's face twitched into a small smile, "I guess you'll just have to trust the Harry-tionary." He said happily.

"Harry…" She growled.

It was then, Ron approached the two, finally up for breakfast. "What're you guys talking about?"

"Ron," Hermione hissed out, "Did your _dear_ friend tell you what he did?"

The red-head froze at her tone. "N-no?"

"Do tell him, Harry."

His eyes widened nervously, "Umm." The flapping of delivery owls was heard, and immediately, Harry's face melted into a smile. "Why tell when I can show him?" he said cheerfully.

Two '_thunk'_s were heard as packages dropped in front of Ron and Hermione. The latter poked the wrapped gift carefully as if any sudden movement would cause it to explode on her. "What is it?" she finally asked.

"Open, open!" Harry urged, nearly bouncing in his seat to show off his latest project.

Hermione hesitantly did so, pulling off the papers to revel a book. "Harry-tionary." She read off the cover.

"Yup! It's totally _Dumbledore_-_tastic_!"

"That's not a word." Hermione deadpanned.

"Think again!" Harry cried, tapping at his book. The pages flipped open to the D's, or more specifically to "Dumbledore".

_**Dumbledore **__[Duhm-buh'l-de-or] adj.  
>1. Completely abstract to the point where it's uncomprehendable, but still cool<br>2. Utterly bonkers  
><em>_Related forms__  
>Dumbledore-ry<br>Dumbledore-tastic  
>Dumble-licious<em>

"I… see…" Hermione said.

The raven-haired boy beside her grinned, "Glad you see things my way, 'Mione!" he cheered, slapping her on the back, "I gave you a copy so you won't have to stare the those old, _Snape_, dictionaries you've been using all this time."

"Old, _Snape_, dictionaries?" She repeated warily.

"Yup! It's-"

"I. Don't. Care." Hermione cut the boy off. She clutched her head in her hands in frustration. "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" she chanted, "You can't convert me!"

"Come on, Hermione! Give it half a year, and _everyone_'s going to be using them!"

The girl glared at him.

"I'm not joking!" Harry continued. "Don't you remember _who_ wrote them?"

"You."

"Exactly! Me, Boy-who-lived and all that shniz. Snape doesn't only call me a celebrity just because he's secretly jealous of my bad-boy scar. People actually look up to what I do!"

Hermione looked doubtful, "Well…"

"Trust me Hermione! Everyone will start using it soon because I wrote it!"

The brunette scratched her cheek hesitantly trying to find fault in her friend's logic. "Seriously?" Hermione sighed at last.

"Yup, Sirius-ly."

That damn twinkle in his eye made the girl know better than to just accept his words. "What now?" she grounded out. She flipped open the Harry-tionary in a thought of insight.

_**Sirius Black**__ [See-ri-oh's Bl'ah-ku] adj.  
>1. With absolute certainty; in a grave, solemn mannar<br>2. NOT an escaped convict  
><em>_Related forms  
><em>_Sirius-ly  
>Siri-tooting-rific<br>Sirius-ious-ness_

"You're a child's worst nightmare, you know that?" Hermione growled.

"Huh."

"Some poor kids going to try looking up the word 'serious' for an essay and come up with 'Sirius' instead."

"Sweet."

"No, Harry," the bushy-haired girl snapped, "And then they're going to fail their essay because of you."

"Oh, I didn't know that a single spelling error (and it's _not_ an error, I tell you!), is going to fail an essay. I wonder how I've been doing so well all this time?"

"You're incorrigible."

"Such a long word. I prefer _Lockhart_-ible."

She flipped to the right entry before he could finish talking.

_**Lockhart **__[Lok-hah'rt] adj.  
>1. Most annoying thing that ever walked the planet (see(similar): Voldemort)<br>2. Cheater with an itchy _obliviate_ finger  
><em>_Related forms  
><em>_Lockhart-ible  
>Lockhart-tard<br>Lockha-ha-ha-he's-so-stupid_

"That's … surprisingly accurate." Hermione said lamely, staring at the page.

Harry grinned, "I know, right?"

She sighed, rubbing her temple in an attempt to quell her building headache, "You're…" Hermione sighed, he was _worse_ than incorrigible. "I don't even know what to call you anymore."

"I do!" Harry cheered, raising his hand.

Hermione looked at him amusedly, "Do tell."

"I'm Harry Potter!"

"No really?"

The boy smirked, "I'm Harry Potter in _every_ possible way." He clarified.

_**Harry Potter **__[Ha'ar-ee Poh't-ta] adj.  
>1. Totally, spiffing awesome<br>slang: 1. Not someone Hermione should be mad at  
><em>_Related forms  
><em>_Harry-ocious  
>Harr-rifically-smexy<em>

The busy-haired girl sighed, "Only you, Harry; only you."

"Because _no one_'s more Harry Potter than me." He agreed.

And Hermione only shook her head sadly in response. What could you possible say to that?

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><p><em>AN: And on that note, can I just say that this fic was made of Harry Potter. The _Harry-tionary_ definition, of course, or else it would just be bloody and gory._

_And in case anyone's not like Hermione and is actually interested in Snape's entry…_

**Snape** [S'nay-p] adj.  
>1. Grungy, disgusting <em>thing<br>_2. Something that is greasy or oily  
><span>Related forms<span>  
>Snape-pa-roo<br>Sna-oh-merlin-just-saying-his-name-leaves-a-nasty-taste-in-my-mouth  
>Snape-foo<p> 


End file.
